Disguise

Sometimes, life is all about how you disguise.

Clowns are good in disguising. They disguise to bring laughter to everyone. This is a good form of disguise.

But clowns have their dilemmas as well. Don't you think that they are happy themselves, actually some of them are not. They are just doing what is required of them.

I find myself to be like these clowns sometimes. Similar to them, I have a bomb inside which could explode anytime if it is ticked.

My fault, I'll be scolded, not my fault, somehow I am to be blamed as well.

I really don't know why am I always the chou yan (clown in cantonese) to be in the receiving end of all these. After all, I never blamed you all for your mistakes. I can be forgetful, I can commit mistakes just like everyone else, but why is it that all the time I felt like I have done something very wrong?

If things could be seen in different ways, perhaps in a more cheerful way, I would have accepted things gracefully and willingly. What about the times when I don't even know what I did?

And what about the deeds I did which you all did not even realize? Like saving money for instance?

Is this how you guys bring the best out of me? Do you now it's never nice trying to shut up and act like nothing has ever happened?

All I need is your trust. TRUST, which should not be influenced by the past.