I guess,

I am not the one for you.

Some things are just not meant for you.

Self-reflection

There are certain things in life that are out of one's control.

And they are part of God's plans for us.

We as humans, tend to choose to ignore them.

Thinking that, we can overthrow His plans, bettering them.

But in actual fact,

We can't.

And when we can't, we blame Him, and everything else.

I am one of these people, especially recently.

This can only be explained by these few words:

I am not thankful to the Lord that I even have a chance to type in front of my laptop, right here at this very moment.

I should have realized this long time ago, yet I choose to be in denial, as I try to become the person I am not.

Forgive me O' Lord.

What's Next?

Hello again.

I'm glad I am actually able to sit down and have some personal time for myself, and doing what I used to love doing.

Blogging. But, it seems so long ago that almost everyone went crazy over blogging. Nowadays, I think it's kinda a waste of time lol. Not like anybody reads anyway.

I guess this is more of a time for me to reflect on myself. And I just realized how tired I am.

Career, at a standstill. Don't think I am performing.

Singlehood, yea still there.

Wealth, can be considered as a bit of a struggle. Fallen for someone which I don't see any possibility with.

Family, well, I guess I did not spend enough time with them this year.

Above all, relationship with God,

is... well, sliding downhill.

The faith that I used to have in righteousness, turns out weaker. I get absorbed in things that I know I should not get entangled in.

I have not been thankful to God, always questioning why this and that happened to me when rightfully, I should be able to see the hidden picture.

I have, at times fallen into the trap of society norm, instead of holding onto God's teachings in the Bible.

Is this an early-life crisis?

How can I reconcile my relationship with God again?

Searching

The good ol' Avril Lavigne song.

Keep Holding On?

Today I just realised,

How much I have missed you.

The thing is,

You may not know this.

2012 - Year of Change?

475 days

was the number of days since I last wrote an alphabet in this long-forgetten site.

How's everybody?

I still thank you humbly if anyone of out there is still visiting this site (HAHA!), but yea,

it has been so long ago.

The change that is happening to me right now,

is frightening.

I felt like a loser, sceptical, stuck-up, and above all, I got further away from God.

What's happening to me?

At times I can just shut down on myself and refuse to see anyone, ANYONE, for the whole day.

I have NEVER felt this way before. Never.

Is it because of work? Or the people around that I see?

Or is it because I thought I was strong enough to handle everything yet I overdid it?

I don't know really.

Happy CNY everyone.